


cream comes first

by Jemima_Puddleduck



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cream tea debate, F/M, Missy knows what she's doing as always, devon cream tea, domestic twissy, post-vault AU, the Doctor makes a huge social faux pas, twissy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 02:11:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11864475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jemima_Puddleduck/pseuds/Jemima_Puddleduck
Summary: Silly one-shot about cream tea and its varieties.Based on the dramatic events of a scone debate in the 'Silly Sausages' twitter group chat that famously revealed Michelle Gomez's cream tea preferences. (Jam first.)





	cream comes first

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kissmeinnewyork](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissmeinnewyork/gifts).



They meet up occasionally, just to check in. After all, they are old friends and despite their airs and graces, they genuinely enjoy one another's company. The most recent of these meetings occurred in Salcome, Devon purely by chance. They both happened to land in England in the same timezone, and Missy was in the mood to go to the beach. The cafe was a small one, frequented by tourists and the occasional local nursing a hangover over a mug of strong coffee. 

The odd couple stood out among the other punters, Missy's coat a loud flash of purple in the sea of dark waterproof jackets. It was blowing a gale outside, and she dragged The Doctor inside before her umbrella had the chance to blow inside out. She squeezed her way through to an empty table, grumbling quietly about her hair being messed up by the wind. 

"I assume I'm paying." The Doctor frowned over the grubby tablecloth. 

"How kind of you to offer my dear Doctor." Missy trilled happily, the twinkle returning to her eyes once she'd had the chance to inspect herself in her pocket mirror. "In that case, I'll have a cream tea please."

The Doctor sighed, reluctant to admit that cream tea was one of the only human delicacies for which he had a weakness. "Go on then, I might as well join you."

He waved a waitress to the table and relayed the order as Missy began to fix her makeup in the mirror. By the time he looked back at Missy, her mascara was perfect once again and her bright red grin had been fixed back into place.

"So, why here?" The Doctor asked, leaning back in his chair casually. 

"I like the sea." Missy told him. "It's nothing like we ever had on Gallifrey."

She gazed out at the swelling waves beyond the cafe. The wind sent them shuddering towards the beach where they crashed against rain-damp sand.

"Humans I've met seem to love it too. It really is beautiful." The Doctor said. 

"Do you think I'm going soft?" Missy asked, sounding disgusted with herself.

"Of course not." The Doctor smirked. 

The waitress hurried back to their table, balancing a tray with a teapot, two mugs, scones, clotted cream and jam. She set it down in front of them and Missy wasted no time in grabbing a plate. The Doctor smiled at this display; in the vault there had been days where Missy refused to eat at all, or had simply forgotten. He was happy that she was finally looking after herself. He grabbed his own plate and loaded it with scones. Missy took the cream before he had a chance, so he reached for the jam.

The Doctor began to spread jam liberally over his scone, coating it until the syrup was leaking over the edges enticingly. He grabbed the cream and was about to finish his creation, when he spied the waitress' horrified glance in his direction. It was then he realised that the sound behind him, that had reminded him of a punctured tyre, was, in fact, a disgruntled local hissing at him over his coffee. The Doctor looked up at the Mistress and found she was giving him a similar expression. 

"Trust you to show me up in public." She hissed under her breath. 

"What have I done?" The Doctor asked incredulously. "I know about human etiquette, I was being perfectly polite!"

"We're in Devon, remember?" Missy said, eyeing his jam-coated monstrosity with disdain. 

"What's that got to do with anything?" The Doctor laughed.

"Oh you really are _dense_ aren't you?" She sighed gesturing to her own scone. The jam was spread evenly over a thick layer of cream on each scone. 

The Doctor looked up at her with sudden realisation, wide-eyed and horrified. "The _cream_ comes first." He whispered. 

"The cream comes first." Missy affirmed, taking a large bite.


End file.
